Back Off the Buffet! How to Network Painlessly

By Melissa Breau Published June 15, 2010 | 253 Views

• Posted In:
• Career

Some people are naturally social butterflies. They flit about a room, tasting the conversations in each group, settling in naturally, making a few connections and then moving on.

Personally, I’ve always been more of caterpillar–slowing inching my way across the room, spending most of my time munching from the buffet.

I’ve always had trouble at networking events. I feel like anyone I approach just wishes I’d leave again, that everyone else is mocking my awkward attempts at conversation. But recently, I’ve learned how to ignore my misgivings, meet people, and make real connections. Here’s how:

Before The Event

• Tip #1: Prepare a pitch.  One of the most common questions asked at a networking event is, “What do you do?” Think carefully about how to answer this question; even if you’re a recent grad looking for a job you can phrase your answer so you come off as competent and professional instead of unemployed and looking.
• Tip #2: Pack business cards close at hand. Even if you don’t have a full-time job yet, you should have business cards (there are a number of sites that will print them for free in exchange for including their logo unobtrusively on the back: check out Vistaprint.com or Clubflyers.com) with your name and contact information. These should be located somewhere easy to find, preferably on your person, so that you don’t have to go digging through a briefcase the first time you strike up a conversation.
• Tip #3: Check out the guest list ahead of time. Many networking events, like those found through Meetup.com, post a guest list ahead of time. Spend a few minutes checking out the other members who have RSVPed, and send one or two notes to other members suggesting you’d love to meet them. This way, when you arrive, you already have one to two people with whom you can strike up a conversation without feeling (too) awkward.

At the Event:

• Tip #4: Approach the most awkward-looking person in the room. Chances are they feel more out-of-place that you do, and will welcome someone else starting a conversation. After using this technique at one of the networking events I recently attended, the woman I was talking to thanked me for initiating a conversation and admitted to feeling shy. Boy, didn’t I know how she felt. 
• Tip #5: Carry a drink. A friend suggested this tip to me–carrying a drink creates a casual, relaxed body posture that instantly makes you more approachable. It gives you something to do with your hands and is a great way to keep your body language confident (even if you’re feeling anything but).
• Tip #6: Pretend you’ve met someone before (even if you haven’t). Approach someone on the fringe of a group and ask them if you’ve met them before. When they say no (after all, you haven’t) introduce yourself and ask them what they do just to “make sure” you haven’t met. If they surprise you and say yes (maybe they’re pretending too) apologize for forgetting their name and ask them for it. Then ask them to introduce you to their friends.
• Tip #7: Wear a conversation piece. Women can wear an interesting bag, shoes or dress. Men can wear an interesting tie. I typically wear a red dress (it’s very business-y). Make sure it’s business appropriate, but having something that helps you stand out serves to make you more memorable and gives the people you talk to something to bring up if the conversation starts to lull. It also serves as a great way for other people to initiate conversations with you.
• Tip #8: Compliment someone. Everyone loves a compliment, so if you see someone with a great bag, pair of shoes or awesome briefcase, tell them you think it’s great. It’s the perfect icebreaker–from there, you can introduce yourself and move on to other subjects.

After the Event

• Tip #9: Follow up. Shoot anyone you enjoyed talking to an email, letting him or her know you enjoyed your conversation. Say it was great to meet them and invite them to grab coffee sometime to continue your chatting–your treat.
• Tip #10: Stay in touch. Even after you meet for a coffee, if you truly want to add someone to your network you need to keep in touch; In today’s world of social networks that can be as easy as finding them on LinkedIn, Twitter or Facebook. Then, periodically shoot them an email or message to see what they’ve been up to.
• Bonus tip: Take notes. Be sure to jot down notes about what you talked to each person about on the back of his or her business card. That way, you remember what points to mention when you follow up.

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